Saturday, May 30, 2009

Is Your Relationship In Trouble?

You may have noticed some changes in your partner lately. Is it something you should be worried about or just ignore? Following are the most common warning signs that may indicate your relationship is headed for trouble if you don't address the issues now.

Your Partner Is Spending Less Time With You

Look for a dramatic decrease in together time. If your partner used to call you every day, if you saw each other on certain days, had your happy little routines, and suddenly things have tapered off or halted completely, this can point to possible trouble.

Don’t jump to conclusions and automatically think he/she is cheating or doesn’t love you anymore, sometimes they may have to work late and at times they truly may be out with friends.

After all, you probably work late at times and visit friends too! If it becomes a pattern though and is combined with any of the following signs, you’ll definitely want to talk with your partner about this and work on bridging the gap between the two of you.

Your Partner Starts Dressing Differently

If your partner used to be perfectly comfortable in sweats and old T-shirts and suddenly starts dressing better before going out, if he seldom shaved and now has a baby-smooth face, if she never wore perfume and now won’t walk out the door without spraying some on, be on alert.

These signs suggest that a boyfriend or girlfriend may be losing interest in the relationship and as a result, they are consciously or subconsciously trying to attract someone else.

Alternately, a partner may be having self-esteem issues and by dressing better it’s giving them the boost they need.

Again, talking to your partner about the changes is the best course of action. Open communication is the key factor in making any relationship work.

There’s Less Intimacy In The Relationship

If he/she seems uninterested in being affectionate and/or if your sex life takes a nosedive, this is another sign that things may be rocky between you.

Remember, there needs to be multiple signs not just this one or that one. At times your partner may be under a great deal of stress or is depressed — these are two other common reasons for a decrease in intimacy.

However, when a person loses interest in their relationship, they usually distance themselves physically and emotionally.

Sparks Fly When You Talk

Maybe you’re just feeling insecure and you blow small things out of proportion, maybe you’re just feeling needy right now. That happens. But if you approach your partner and discuss the fact that you feel they aren’t acting like they used to or you miss how things used to be between you and he/she erupts like a volcano this is a bad sign!

If your partner truly loves you and cares about making the relationship work, why get upset if you mention some changes in personality or actions?

Fixing What May Be Broken

On their own, these problems may be fairly insignificant, but combined they add up to the fact that there are problems in the relationship you can no longer ignore.

You need to take the initiative and try to work things out. Talk with your partner, don’t yell or cry or accuse. Just tell him/her how you’re feeling, that you miss the special times together, and that you want to do whatever it takes to be close again.

Avoid pointing fingers and pointing out faults, nobody is open to changing or trying if they’re automatically put on the defensive. Try to remain open, loving, kind and compassionate.

If you’re partner is willing to open up and work with you on making changes, great! If he/she has no desire to create a safe, stable, and loving relationship with you, then you may want to think about separating and finding someone who is more suitable for you.

Love is everywhere, don’t think you have to settle for one person if you aren’t happy.


  1. thanks! I used to be a PI and counsel folks going through a rough time..... everyone it seems misses the warning signs.....

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